20th September 2017 9.26am – 2 year anniversary

16.10.17

Today marks the two year anniversary of Milly going to heaven, even now 2 years on, as I write the words it doesn’t seem real. Losing a child completely changes you forever, it can destroy you and break you into a thousand pieces, but despite this your heart continues to beat and the world continues to turn. You become an expert at hiding the deep soul searing pain that engulfs you, your child that you brought into this world has gone, not in this lifetime will you ever again hear their laughter, comfort them and smother them in kisses, wave them off to school, college, watch them fall in love, get married and have their own children. They are forever missing from life now and from all the life yet to come. Bereaved parents become experts at learning to cope, whilst trying to make some kind of sense of what has happened.

Milly’s Smiles has been my saviour, it has allowed me to bring Milly into the future with me, it has allowed me to tell her story, people are learning about Milly, they know she had an amazing zest for life, with a crazy sense of humour. They know she loved her family and friends fiercely and would do anything she could to make them happy.

I don’t post personal feelings often on this page but today is different …the charity to me is personal. Its about Milly. It’s entire ethos is about love, my love for Milly and Milly’s love for life. Milly is the reason the charity is here, and that makes it very personal. The charity, whilst helping families who have been given the devastating news that their child has cancer, also allows me to honour Milly’s life. I speak about how amazing she was and how much love she brought into people’s lives, especially mine. It is truly a privilege to be Milly’s mum, and if given the chance and knowing the painful outcome I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

So today, we honour the young lady behind the charity, she is the reason we do what we do, we do this out of pure love for Milly, because in the end, all that matters is how hard we loved and how hard we tried.

Today, it’s about beautiful, brave Milly, my daughter.

My everythingme and beautiful millymilly2