5 Years

Today it’s 5 years that I have survived without Milly…. 5 years is a lifetime to be without one of your children, and yet it’s no time at all….
The pain…the loss…her absence from every part of my life is still felt so intensely…it hurts and my heart breaks every single day.
Each year without Milly has brought different challenges…. up until this year I have always known where Milly was meant to be, I often would think she should be at school now, or she should be getting off the bus with her friends, for the last 5 years I’ve been able to place her where she should have been and imagine what she would have been doing.
But it’s different this year…. I don’t known where she would be now or what she would be doing …she may have chosen college or 6th form or even an apprenticeship…this year it’s hard in so many new and different ways…and I know that is never going to change as the years continue to pass by.
Milly will always be missing from me and I will always be wondering….
But she will always be part of everything I do, I made a promise to myself when I knew that Milly would never get the chance to grow up, I promised that no one would forget her, that she would be remembered and thought about with love.
And MilIy is very much remembered, not only by those who know and love her but also by families that we have helped along the way with Milly’s Smiles.
I know families take time to read about Milly, and I hope they gain a little insight into the person she was, Milly was filled with love, fun and laughter, she brought a smile to everyone who was lucky enough to know her.
Milly’s love will always surround me, my love for Milly, and her love for me will never be stolen by death. It is infinite as it is powerful, it stretches past forever and remains with me for always.
I feel honoured and blessed to be Milly’s mum, I had 11 and a half years with her…it wasn’t and never will be enough…she is forever loved and endlessly missed.
“I love her with the utmost love of which my soul is capable, and she was taken from me. Yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it”.         William Wordsworth

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