Since losing Milly people have treated me differently, many have not known what to say to me, people cross over the road to avoid me or they dive down another aisle at the supermarket in an attempt to avoid speaking to me.
I understand this and accept it because knowing what to say is so hard, I know people don’t want to upset me and worry if they mention Milly that will happen.
Grief is something that is not understood or talked about by many people, yet apart from birth, death is the only other thing in life that is totally guaranteed…… death and grief ultimately travel hand in hand.
Milly’s School – St Augustine’s RC High School got it right, from the moment Milly should have attended school as a year 7 pupil in September 2015 they have been supportive and kind, initially with her diagnosis and treatment, and then with her being taken to heaven.
Her form tutor told me that he considered Milly as much a part of his year as everyone else.
The school gave support in so many ways; allowing us to have Milly’s bench there for her friends to gather, acknowledging her anniversary every year giving love and support to her friends and to me as Milly’s mum. They supported her charity raising money and arranging toothbrush collections for us, along with a host of other things.
The school totally got it right and this warms my heart and fills me with love.
Finally as her classmates prepared to leave school and make their way forward in the world Milly was included, her name is on the leavers hoodie, which I wear on her behalf with pride and her picture is included in the leavers book along with her classmates.
Never be afraid to talk to someone about their child, or to include their child, especially at this time of year. Seeing Milly’s name on Christmas cards to me is getting it right, remembering to mention her is important, even if all you say is ‘I don’t know what to say but I am thinking of you’…. as bereaved grieving parents, it’s all we need to hear.